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Here are some guidelines for having a deadbedroom talk

One thing for sure is that without intimacy of some kind sooner or later your relationship will start having issues. But, maybe the fact that you are aware of your partner's limitations it could be your turn to direct your sex lives into the right direction. But to get started, these guidelines may help you:

1) Tell your partner you need to talk and decide on a time you can have an uninterrupted conversation (not while you’re getting ready for work in the morning).

2) Once you have their full attention, present the facts as clearly and non-judgmentally as you can (“We haven’t had sex when I am horny, despite the few times I’ve tried to initiate it,”. Some people might be very aware of their behavior, but others might not. Give your spouse the benefit of the doubt and see how they respond before assuming they’ve been aware of their behavior and indifferent to the damage it has caused.

3) State the emotional impact their rejections have on you using "I statements" (“It makes me feel extremely unattractive and undesirable,” “I feel hurt and my self-esteem has taken a real hit,” or, “It makes me feel insecure, angry, and resentful.”). Here again, it is important to give your partner space to respond; while some may be aware of the impact of their behavior, others might not be.

4) State a clear request for change (“It isn’t fair to me and I don’t want to keep feeling like this,” “We’ve spoken about this before, you make some efforts but they don’t last. I need you to take this very seriously,” or, “I want us to discuss this honestly and find solutions together.”).

5) If your partner gets defensive or is reluctant to change, ask them to explain how they see things, what suggestions they have for making things better, or whether there are things they are upset about that are motivating their behavior.

6) Discuss specific steps you both can take to improve the situation. Do not assume all the changes have to come from your partner; they might have feelings of their own that are underlying their avoidance of sex and intimacy. Try to agree on one small step you can both take right away to signal your intention to work on this issue. A good place to start could be scheduling intimate times like for massages, not necessary detailed but some form of fulfilling touch like these vagina massage techniques and penis massage techniques 

7) Request a periodic check-in to make sure any efforts or changes are maintained (“I want us to check in on this every few weeks to make sure things have improved,” or, “I would like you to take the initiative to check in with me so I know you care about whether I’m feeling better about this.”). 

And if you make a commitment to have sex as often as possible, then in guide number 1 from the ALL Reads I talk about 365 Sex Positions for Having Sex a New Way Everyday

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To get rid of Sexual Anxiety, Have More Sex

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When you worry about something (anything, really), it’s probably because you don’t have much experience doing said activity. A common example is public speaking. Everyone fears public speaking because it’s a scary thing to do…and we never do it. To become a better public speaker, you practice public speaking. To become a better lover…have more sex! I don’t know how much experience you have, but whether you’re young or old… having more sex will improve your sexual confidence. Especially if you’re in a new relationship, having sex might seem like a weird thing to do. It takes getting used to. This is a new person, and you want to make sure they like you. So…have more sex! When you have more sex, y ou’ll learn what turns her on or what turns him on , what makes her wet or makes him supper hard, and what makes her or him groan in pleasure.  That’s how you get rid of sexual anxiety. Luckily in guide number 1 from the ALL Reads there are 365 Sex Positions for Having Sex a New Way Every...
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Upvote the post too!  Link https://old.reddit.com/r/sex/comments/1tz7wfc/i_need_some_advicehelp/ Comment You are definitely not the only person who experiences this, and the fact that things become overstimulating or uncomfortable is an important clue rather than a failure on your part.  It may help to focus less on chasing a specific outcome and more on learning what levels of touch, pressure, pace, and environment actually feel good to you. Like I read a while about sex and relationships in a guide (should be top result when you copy paste search – I am not a Starfish "arfc01" ) on my profile is that people assume everyone got handed the same instruction manual, fun fact, human bodies are so different that what works perfectly for one person can be completely useless for the next persn. If discomfort is a regular part of the experience, consider talking with a healthcare professional as well, because pleasure is much easier to explore when pain or sensory overload is not g...
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Practice Tactical wanking; Masturbating more & before You Plan to Have Sex

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Sometimes ejaculating too fast is due to the fact that you haven't had sex. When it has been a while since you had sex it means your prostrate is full engorged and the slightest touch, lick, or thrust can set you off - literally! If you masturbate and ejaculate an hour or two before you plan on having sex then it means that you will last longer when you have sex.  Caution: Practice appropriate timing between sessions, the last thing you need is then not being able to perform at all. I often recommend masturbation and I am going to recommend it again. Solo sex can be sex without pressure where you can learn what it feels like when you’re about to ejaculate and practice some techniques for pulling yourself back from the brink . You can also learn what absolutely puts you over that edge so you can avoid it until you and your partner are satisfied with how long sex has lasted. Instead of masturbating towards orgasm, try to focus on what is actually happening to your body. Notice the...
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 Download All 20 Reads For MEN in PDF & EPUB here https://tichaz01.blogspot.com/2025/10/men.html
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Foreplay before Foreplay; getting her aroused before you do ANYTHING sexual with her

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If you know anything about women, you will know they need to be aroused before intercourse , but you might not know that getting a woman aroused before you do ANYTHING sexual with her, is the ultimate key to making all of your sexual experiences with her amazing for her, and will give you both total satisfaction in not only intercourse but foreplay. So, before you touch her anywhere explicitly sexual, touch her in the places that aren’t explicitly sexual. You can use your mouth, fingers, nose, sex toys etc.  The MOST IMPORTNANT thing to take into consideration is your interest. Treat her as if she is the most delicious thing you will ever eat, run your fingers over her like she is silk, words can be just as arousing as touch, so be sure to notice everything you are finding pleasing to your eyes and make her aware of just how much you are going to enjoy having the privilege of experiencing those aspects in every form possible.  Make sure she is a comfortable temperature, mak...
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High Gear; Orgasmic foreplay

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Now we are going to step it up a notch and get into oral sex for completion of an orgasm, all of the previous techniques I have talked about will get your lady to the point where she is ready to experience penetration. I will always recommend using your fingers internally before anything else , using your fingers internally whilst using the techniques I’m going to tell you about with your tongue will bring your lady very close to orgasm and if not, will certainly get her totally ready for penetration with your cock.  I’m going to work from the lowest intensity techniques to the ones that are almost certain to bring your woman to orgasm. I’m also going to touch on how to try and make your woman squirt in your mouth , this will almost certainly take a few attempts and involves her understanding and cooperation before-hand so bear that in mind if this is your goal.  The first technique is to use one set of fingers on her clitoris, with the bump of her clitoris in between the c...
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Reclaiming the lost ark (or is it art): Orgasms were once prescribed to promote mental health

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Throughout the ages sex has been a pivotal and misunderstood part of culture. Depending on the religion, sophistication, and ideology of a culture, the role of orgasm and the sexual organs of women have played an important component in shaping societal habits and values. The early Celtic and naturalist cultures saw women as empowered beings because of their ability to give birth and worshipped the ability to transmit life through goddess culture and theology. For many of those earth faiths orgasm was seen as a sort of “possession” by the goddess and a form or magic that could protect people and give visions. When the Roman army conquered the Celtic people, sex was one of the many weapons they used to enslave and shame women in an attempt to replace the power of life giving (by birth) with the power of life taking (by the sword). That shame and the whispered “magic” of orgasm continued on through time. In the Victorian age, women displaying any number of illnesses (depression, schizophr...
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Oral Sex as foreplay, The Tongue - What, When, Where

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When it comes to giving good oral sex to a woman , you really need to know your shit, you can’t just go down on her and waggle your tongue around and expect things to be wonderful, there is a lot of skill and technique involved to giving good oral sex.  Before we go any further we need to establish a few basics about the internal and the external anatomy of the vagina. If you have spent enough time working on her not so explicitly sexual areas; her vagina will be hot to the touch, sticky and nice and slick, her whole lower body will be warm, everything will have adequate blood flow, her labia and clitoris will be enlarged, maybe not so noticeably, but you will be able to tell just by her temperature.  Ok, so you have your woman splayed in front of you in all her beautiful glory and you wonder where the fuck you should begin and how to go about it, so, listen up!  When it comes to oral sex, you can use all sorts of things to accompany your mouth, and to be honest you will...
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