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You are definitely not the only person who experiences this, and the fact that things become overstimulating or uncomfortable is an important clue rather than a failure on your part.  It may help to focus less on chasing a specific outcome and more on learning what levels of touch, pressure, pace, and environment actually feel good to you.

Like I read a while about sex and relationships in a guide (should be top result when you copy paste search – I am not a Starfish "arfc01" ) on my profile is that people assume everyone got handed the same instruction manual, fun fact, human bodies are so different that what works perfectly for one person can be completely useless for the next persn.

If discomfort is a regular part of the experience, consider talking with a healthcare professional as well, because pleasure is much easier to explore when pain or sensory overload is not getting in the way.

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