Common Qs
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Is there any need for sex to last long?
As an evolutionary researcher, all this talk of how long sex lasts make me wonder: Why does it last any time at all? All sex really needs to achieve, it seems, is to put sperm into the vagina. Why all the thrusting and bumping? Instead of sliding the penis in and out many hundreds of times per sexual session, why not just put it in once, ejaculate, and then go have a lemonade and get on with the rest of the day?
Despite the ‘in-out’ being fun, does it serve a purpose biologically?
Before you say, Because it’s fun to go in and out!, remember evolution doesn’t care about fun per se – it generally only “designs” things to be enjoyable if they helped our ancestors pass on their genes to future generations. For example, even though we like eating food, we don’t chew each mouthful of it for five minutes just to make the enjoyment last longer. That would be inefficient, and so we’ve evolved to find it gross.
Why we last so long is a pretty complicated question with no clear answer, but a clue may be in the way the penis is shaped. In 2003, researchers showed – using artificial vaginas, artificial penises, and artificial sperm (corn syrup) – that the ridge around the head of the penis actually scoops out pre-existing syrup from the vagina.
What this suggests is that men’s repeated thrusting might function to displace other men’s semen before ejaculating, ensuring their own swimmers have a better chance of reaching the egg first. Incidentally, this could explain why it becomes painful for a man to continue thrusting after ejaculating, since that would risk scooping out his own semen as well.
MAKE HER ORGASM FAST
Know Her Sweet Spots
There are two places on the body that are critical to female
orgasm. Here's how to stimulate them so she can achieve orgasm.
The clitoris This
tiny organ contains a high concentration of nerve endings and can be found near
the top of the vulva. The clitoris is covered by a little bit of skin called
the "clitoral hood," which keeps it from being stimulated all the
time, so you may have to coax the clitoris out by touching or licking it. Once
she's aroused, the hood will draw back and the clitoris will become erect.
The G-spot This
other orgasmic area is located inside the vagina. It's a bundle of nerve
endings about two inches up from the pubic bone on the inner, upper wall of the
vagina. To find the G-spot, gently slide your finger inside her vagina with your
palm facing up, then curl your finger up. Be warned — some women love having
their G-spot directly stimulated, while others prefer less pressure on this
sensitive area. Explore different techniques and ask your partner which she
likes best.
Try Female-Friendly Sexual Positions
Given what you've just learned, you can pretty much guess that the best sexual positions for female orgasm involve those that provide maximum stimulation to the clitoris or G-spot (or both!). These positions include:
Woman on top This position provides some of the best stimulation of the G-spot, given the angle of the penis. She also can move her body in a way that stimulates her clitoris.
Rear entry This position isn't so great for clitoral stimulation, but provides excellent penetration and stimulation of the G-spot. Either of you can reach under during sex to rub the clitoris.
Sitting Having your partner sit on your lap allows for both deep penetration and good clitoral stimulation. It also provides plenty of intimacy.
Notice that the missionary position isn't on this list? It's difficult for a man to stimulate the clitoris when he's on top, unless he really grinds his pelvis into his partner. The angle of penetration is also all wrong for G-spot stimulation.
LOSE ERECTION
Your mind may be playing tricks with you. Such a well-entrenched pattern of erectile failure can start as an occasional inability to maintain erection, but become a self-fulfilling prophecy, when your anxiety about it actually becomes a large part of the cause. So, during lovemaking, instead of enjoying feelings of love, pleasure and sensuality, you may be imbued with performance anxiety, which seriously hampers your natural arousal responses. Have you tried some of the erectile dysfunction medications, which can be physiologically useful and help build confidence? There can certainly be treatable psychological reasons for consistent erectile failure. But the best approach at this point is to immediately stop trying to maintain an erection and focus on the giving and receiving of pleasure without intercourse. It is vital for you to reframe sex as something relaxing and sensually pleasing rather than a goal or chore. Take time to fully explore all the non-penetrative things you both enjoy, and have fun experimenting. Only return to intercourse when your confidence has come back – and even then think of penetration as a side attraction rather than the “main event”.
DOMINANT WOMAN
The mistake that so many women make when exploring how to become dominant is that they think they need to make drastic, massive changes in their attitude and actions. Thankfully this isn’t the case at all. In fact, if you suddenly change your attitude, you may even freak your man out, which is obviously not the goal at all.
So what kinds of steps can you take to slowly become more dominant?
**Try initiating:** Kiss your man when he’s not expecting it. Run your hand up and down his thigh to let him know what you’re thinking about. Take him by the hand and lead him somewhere private, then start unbuckling his belt. Push him down onto your bed. [Try some ‘women on top’ sex positions](https://tpi02.wordpress.com/2022/09/30/starfish/) Gently bite his lip. Start with the easier things and you’ll quickly notice how easy & fun it is!
**Tell him that you want to try something new:** You could pin his arms and tie him to the bed. You could handcuff his hands behind his back and then [‘have your way with him’ by giving him a blow job.](https://tpi02.wordpress.com/2022/09/30/blowjob/) You could ask him to go down on you and then use your hands on his head to guide it to exactly where you want him to focus on.
Once you are comfortable with that, [then it’s time to take things a step further.](https://tpi02.wordpress.com/2022/09/30/goddess/) Some people find that, when learning how to be dominant, the best way to ramp things up is with what you say. This can make it easier for you to get into that right head space.
Start with giving him simple orders or commands:
*Can you do me a favor and rub my feet?*
*Get me a glass of wine, would you?*
*Go and warm the bed for me.*
Once he is happily complying with these commands, then you can get a little kinkier, especially when you are actually getting sexual with your man. Here are a few example commands to give him.
*You’re going to taste me (then physically push his head down so that he starts eating you out).*
*You don’t get to cum until I say so, ok?*
*You’re not allowed to orgasm until I cum at least twice.*
These are just some example commands that you can give your man. You don’t necessarily need to use them, but they will give you a good idea of what kinds of things you can say to your man to be dominant and for both of you to get comfortable with your roles.
MORE SPERM
There is an easy solution to this than him taking drugs....spoiler [let him eat your pussy like a savage](https://366hacks.wordpress.com/2022/08/03/cunnilingus/)
Why?
I will not bore you with the whole research paper [here](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3809382/)
But..... When men perform cunnilingus, they ejaculate more sperm.
A study found that the longer men spend licking a woman’s vagina, the greater the volume of sperm they produce per ejaculation.
In other words, men shoot a bigger load as a by-product of going down on a gal.
BLOWJOB
First of all, know that you don't have to deepthroat. A lot of women think they're supposed to deep-throat like porn stars — but porn stars are professionals for a reason. You can give an excellent blow job without needing to obliterate your gag reflex too. The trick is to use your hands: Use your mouth and tongue to focus on the head, and provide wetness. Use your hand on the shaft, to create pressure. By using one or two hands, plus a bit of lube, you can essentially create an extension of your mouth you can allow your partner to thrust intensely — almost as though he is fucking your mouth — while being able to control how deep he is actually going.
If you want him to finish, If you've been doing circular movements and you feel that he is about to ejaculate, don't suddenly switch to in-and-out movements. If, however, you're looking to vary the stimulation, I recommend gripping the base of his penis with a churning motion using either one or two hands (and a dash of lube or spit) while the head is in your mouth. Focus on the frenulum, or the ridge of tissue under the head of the penis, by licking it, flicking it with your tongue, and squeezing it between your lips, and don't neglect other sensitive parts of his anatomy, caressing the balls etc. To add a vibrating sensation, try humming while the penis is in your mouth
TAKING BIG DICK
As a couple foreplay should come naturally to you, it’s something you should do a lot but when preparing for large adult toys or a big dick, you will want to follow these steps to make sure the vagina is stretched and ready for intercourse and penetration.
Magical Foreplay: Use sex toys, vibrators, mouths, hands, tongues, whatever gets you off, remember foreplay isn’t just about the vagina, you have lots of erogenous zones such as the nipples, neck, thighs, butt, etc.
The Insertion Trick: Insertion, you want something inside you before he is, it can be a finger, a dildo, a love egg, even a vibrator, just something to warm you up. This relaxes the muscles and loosens you up.
Orgasm: The more aroused you are the better it will feel, if you have had an amazing orgasm with lots of rubbing, sucking, and stroking on your clit and some beautiful g-spot stimulation you will find he just slips in and it feels amazing.
The Time Has Come: Pick the right position, communicate the speed you want him to go, don’t ram the whole thing in at once, inch bit by bit, taking more with every thrust.
Thrusting Must-Do’s: Make sure you do slow thrusts while you inch in, you want to get to the point you’re begging for him to go deeper and not asking him to stop. Sometimes you won’t be able to fit the whole lot inside of yourself and you need to be able to communicate and find your limits. Keep practicing and warming yourself up more each time, don’t go further than you can.
Lube Up Breaks: Have the lube right next to you and without stopping just add a little more, too much is better than not enough. Lube eases objects and will help prevent any injury.
Breathe: Breathing is really important. Tensing up your airways with short shallow breaths is going to make it harder for insertion. You want long, deep breaths and to just relax mentally and physically.
It’s All About These Big Dick Sex Positions
Something many people don’t consider is the right sex position. When you have a big dick or a large dildo some positions can feel a little uncomfortable and some can dramatically increase your satisfaction levels. This is what works for me:
Want It To Feel Better: Missionary with your hands wrapped around the base of his cock allows you to be in control of when you have had enough, spooning also feels great and allows him to get deep a lot easier. Another position that a lot of size queens love is you on top, leaning forward slightly, it gives you more control and allows you to take length a lot easier. Laying flat on your front also feels good, I like to avoid doggy-style and putting my legs around his shoulders in missionary and this can cause discomfort with a bigger dick.
Lube
Using lube is a MUST. You will face the wrath of your ancestors if you skip it because you think you will be fine without it and that just isn’t true. I always use lube, no matter what, it makes things slippery, wet, more comfortable and it just makes sex and foreplay a lot nicer.
Daily Penetration Practice
If you start masturbating with dildos (if you don’t already), doing it on a more frequent basis will make having a quickie with a bigger guy easier, it also makes bigger sex better. You are just getting the muscles used to daily insertion and relaxing the Kegels to accommodate the girth daily.
INSECURE ABOUT MY VAGINA
The only time we’re ever exposed to what they’re “supposed” to look and act like is when we watch porn.
And that’s a horrible representation of what real life is. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again – you wouldn’t compare your face to that of a movie star’s, so you shouldn’t compare your vulva to that of a porn star’s.
Masturbate.
Is there anything in the world better at getting you to love the power and beauty of your genitals than having an orgasm?
Holy. Sh*ghjkl,mgfg.
Just by touching this one part of your body, you can experience explosive, mind-blowing pleasure. How cool is that?
Learn to love it. Follow its advice. Touch it the way it wants, needs, craves to be touched. Build that bond.
Let your mind and your body appreciate one another.
(I know it sounds like some hippy shit, but I’m serious.)
Look at it.
Buy a hand mirror. Spread ’em. And take a look.
That is cool.
Stop thinking of all of the folds and tunnels and crevices as gross, and start thinking of them as fascinating, like there’s a friggin’ treasure in there.
Move your labia around. Look inside.
Masturbate with the mirror (uh—I mean looking into the mirror, not penetrating yourself with the mirror—unless you want to do that; then go ahead).
Watch yourself get wet. Watch your fingers explore and penetrate.
Go nuts.
And don’t for a second think about it negatively. Don’t let yourself.
Think about how awesome and powerful and beautiful it is.
And keep exposing yourself to it until you’ve convinced yourself that it’s great.
Because it is.
Self-love is a journey. But I can promise you this.
Once you’ve got it, you’ll know that you could never live without it.
And you’ll learn that the love and admiration that you have your body should be replicated in how your partners feel about your body.
Because if you think your vagina is awesome, then you’ll never stand for anyone who doesn’t think it’s awesome.
Worship it.
It’s yours.
ASKING FOR CUNNILINGUS
**On initiating the session to request your needs**
Texting can feel a bit safer and it lets you be yourself. You can text whatever comes to your mind, even if you might hesitate before saying it out loud.
And don't be above using it to initiate sex.
You could tell him ["I could use a pussy massage tonight"](https://366moves.wordpress.com/2022/09/29/vagina/).
The time has come, what do you actually say to make him understand yo want him to give you oral sex? This takes us to the next step;
**On requesting the oral sex**
Try a more playful approach and tell him that you want to play a game where his challenge is to get you as wet and aroused as possible. The rules: He has immediate access to every inch of your bod, but may use only [his hands and mouth to touch you](https://366moves.wordpress.com/2022/09/29/cunnilingus/). Encourage him to linger at your favorite hot spots by being vocal when he's rubbing you the right way. Once he sees the results of his efforts (a horny-as-hell girlfriend), in future he would be the one to suggest frequently.
**On how you feel about down there**
Please know that your genitals are beautiful just the way they are. Seriously. Your boyfriend would be choosing to go down on you, so he obviously feels the same way.
If it makes you feel more comfortable, you can always try wiping down with an unscented baby wipe beforehand (but again, this isn’t necessary; you taste just great!).
Also to help you relax once he is going down on you tell your boyfriend that you’re having a hard time letting go during oral sex, and ask him to tell you what he likes about going down on you. Hearing him say, “you taste so good” or “I love the way your skin feels on my mouth” might help you feel more relaxed when he starts working his way down beneath the covers.
I’d also suggest gently requesting that he stop asking the dreaded “what do you want me to do?” question. I don’t think there’s any other question more universally despised during sex! Tell him, “when you ask me that question, it just sends me up in my head and makes me feel like I’m doing something wrong.”
Suggest trying the A/B testing method together, or come up with sneaky ways to let him know that he’s on the right track (for example, you’ll pull his hair when you want more pressure, or you’ll stroke his shoulder when you want him to go slower).
Now my answer actually ends here but this extra bit is meant to help you relax and enjoy the sex:
> Most men don’t call going down on women cunnilingus — they call it [“pussy immersion.”](https://366moves.wordpress.com/2022/09/29/cunnilingus/) This is because they don’t just lick the vagina when they give head; they literally “immerse” the face in the sex.
> A man likes to feel what he calls the “infinite textures” of the vagina — not just against his tongue but all over his face. He wants to explore the outer lips of the vulva as well as the inner ones. Then he wants to plunge his tongue deep inside of it.
> Only afterward does he take the clit into his mouth and suck. But he doesn’t stop there.
> He wants his cheeks and chin to become soaked with the juices. He wants to feel the thighs squeeze around the sides of his head, her hips bucking.
> And while all this is happening, he wants to savor not just the taste but the scent as well. Sounds hot, right?
> But have you ever asked yourself why men like cunnilingus so much?
> **Reason #1: When men perform cunnilingus, they ejaculate more sperm**.
> A study found that the longer men spend licking a woman’s vagina, the greater the volume of sperm they produce per ejaculation.
> In other words, men shoot a bigger load as a by-product of going down on a gal.
> **Reason #2: Vaginal pheromones give men more sexual stamina.**
> Finally, a study found evidence that when a man smells a woman’s vaginal scents, his testosterone levels increase.
> Olfactory stimulation occurring during cunnilingus is…rewarding to the male, e.g., acting as a releaser semiochemical that enhance men’s sexual stamina.
> In short, giving a gal head enables [a guy to have better erections and last longer in bed](https://366moves.wordpress.com/2022/09/29/ultimate/).
Need I say more?
[Let your man be a muff diving champion today](https://366moves.wordpress.com/2022/12/27/muff/), if not for your own good then do it for the selfless reason of enhancing his own virility.
GETTING MORE BLOWJOBS
As a guy, you’re thinking, why can’t she go down on me and give me head. But from her perspective, all she’s thinking in her head when she has to give you head is, ‘do I have to?’
And most importantly, if it doesn’t look like you’ve made any effort to make it easy or pleasurable for her, she’ll just kiss you all around and ignore the one place you’re hoping she’ll plant her lips.
If you’re wondering how to get a girl to give you head, you need to know that the reasons for this lack of interest in women vary widely. A few women find it humiliating, and others are afraid they’re not any good at it and will only embarrass themselves. And then, there are, of course, those who are not at all prejudiced, but just don’t like giving head.
Dozens of possible explanations exist. Yet, most of them seem to focus on women, because obviously, they are the ones with the problem, right?!
Well, not at all! In fact, a closer look paints a picture where men are equally or more to blame for the unsatisfactory experience or complete lack of fellatio in the relationship.
Luckily, the very reasons that point out a man’s flaws also reveal clues to understanding how you can fix this. If you want to know how to get your girl to give you head, use these fixes, and you’ll go from a guy who doesn’t get head to a guy who gets head… all the time!
Last but not least, play it smart and include oral sex in your foreplay. Don’t wait for her to finish you off, instead, after a short while, switch again or move on to intercourse.
Knowing that sucking you off is not necessarily the only way for you to orgasm eliminates a lot of the pressure and makes her feel more confident and in control. She will be more comfortable with having your penis in her mouth and would also be more open to experiment.
VAGINISMUS
For some women, the depth from the vaginal opening to the tip of the cervix is 3 to 4 inches when they are not sexually aroused.
Lets go slow - read that again!
Regardless, during arousal with the right kind of foreplay, blood flows to the genital area, and sexual excitement causes the upper two-thirds of the vagina to lengthen by forcing the cervix and uterus to ascend. The vagina also lubricates to help ease penetration.
Again, slower - read that again!
You might think that the vaginal canal is a continuously open space. However, this is a misperception. Think of the vaginal canal as if it were a balloon that is not filled with any air. The walls, which have the potential to expand and elongate, gently touch one another. When something is placed inside, they mold around the width and accommodate the length of a penis, tampon, finger(s), or sex toy.
Sometimes during penetration, a penis or other object inserted in a vagina does hit the cervix. This is an indication that she is not physiologically aroused enough; when she is more aroused, her vagina will elongate and her cervix, the neck of the uterus, will lift up and move out of the way.
We are almost there so lets go even slower - read that again.
So know that she is going to take longer than him to feel aroused. He should consider going down on her, fingering her, kissing and fondling her breasts, making out… anything to make her feel extra extra turned on, extra horny, will make sex SO much more pleasurable for her and it will mean she won’t experience any pain at all.
My last favorite option you could try is Orgasm: The more aroused she is the better it will feel, if she has had an amazing orgasm with lots of rubbing, sucking, and stroking on her clit and some beautiful g-spot stimulation you will find he just slips in and it feels amazing.
RIDING A MAN
There are three motions that you can perform when riding your man and having sex on top.
1) Forwards & Backwards
If you enjoy clitoral stimulation during sex, then you will like this motion. Start by sitting right down into your man’s lap and take him fully into you. Then simply rock forwards and backwards on top of him, rubbing your clitoris of his stomach.
2) Up & Down
Moving upwards and downwards requires a little more effort. You are going to use your legs to ‘bounce’ on your man’s lap allowing his penis to glide in deep and then out again.
You’ll find that this position requires a lot more effort than simply moving backwards and forwards.
3) Around & Around
This last movement is similar to the first, Forwards & Backwards. You are going to take your man deep into you, but instead of moving backwards and forwards on him, you are going to be making a circular motion instead.
Now these three movements are a starting point for riding a guy while on top, but to truly enjoy yourself then you’re going to need to do a bit of experimentation to see what you like and enjoy the most.
Now!!!
Truly riding your man burns lots of calories. While that might sound exciting, it’s not while you’re at it. If you go too fast from the start and don’t take breaks, you might get tired too soon. That’s why you should use your energy wisely. In this regard, if you have a hard time keeping up momentum, try taking your lovemaking to the couch.
Have your lover sit on the couch, then sit on back while keeping your feet firmly planted on the floor. You’ll find this is probably way more comfortable than squatting over your lover in bed.
CONDOM ERECTION LOSS
There are many reasons why the sight of a rubber can have your hard-on wilting like a damp dandelion. Firstly, the nature of putting on a condom isn’t high up there on the erotic scale. The kissing and foreplay halt, you have to rummage around in a drawer, faff about with the packet, worry if it’s on inside-out …Is it really surprising your cock has lost interest by now? Plus, yes I know, sex doesn’t always feel as good with a condom on. It can decrease sensitivity, making it harder for your hard-on to stay… well… hard. All of this is commonplace. But the issue becomes a problem when, psychologically, you start linking your erection deflation to condoms and get yourself into a massive head-mess about it.
You are not destined for a life of dick-flop whenever you hear the word Durex. Treat yourself to a posh wank (masturbation with a condom) and practice putting a condom on alone without the pressurising eyes of your partner on flop-watch. If you do have a partner present, stop separating the condom application time from the sexy time and make it part of foreplay. Ask her to stimulate you with her hands or mouth while the troublesome foil packet is being unwrapped. Or you might find it sexy if she put the condom on for you. The most important thing is to COMMUNICATE about it. Yes, I know you would rather stick six-foot needles into your eyes than have a frank conversation after your floppy cock, but it will help. I promise. And your other half will feel better about it too.
The trick is to make it fun so the condom isn’t seen as this dreaded thing. Try not to just stop what you’re doing, get the condom out, and try and stick it on – that’s quite cold and clinical. Talk to your partner so you can both work at maintaining your erection and condoms become part of the lovemaking process.
[this guide]() has a nicely detailed road map drawn for you
The law of giving and receiving Think it through and remember that a grateful and horny woman is far more generous than just a horny one. And more inventive. And dedicated. Basically everything you want her to be.
THE 90:10 RULE
The 90:10 rule follows the principle of you making the first move, while your partner closes the gap between the two of you. Try it with all the moves you wish to make in bed. Move in for a kiss 90% of the way, and let your partner move the rest of the way in. Try it when you’re about to lick her neck and before you press into her, this helps your partner feel more comfortable about actively performing in bed, as you’re guiding their moves, but allowing them to take charge.
WOMEN: INITIATING SEX
Ask With Your Body. You don’t have to use your words to ask for sex. You can do it with your ass instead.
The easiest way to show your man that you are very open to getting fucked is to start grinding him during a cuddle session.
Do it subtly at first, like you are just shifting your hips to get more comfortable. If he reacts by giving your hips a squeeze, running his hand closer to your inner thighs, or pressing himself against you, then take things further.
Arch your back and push against him so he knows exactly what you want. If he responds to that at all, then start grinding.
At that point, you would be pretty much dry humping him with your butt. That’s the brightest green light you can give him. All he has to do is keep escalating until you’re doing something a lot more fun than cuddling.
If you’re too shy to ask for sex, send signals with your body instead. Move things along slowly and see if he picks up on it.
Another way is to Get Things Started Over Text. Texting feels a bit safer and that lets you be yourself. you can text whatever comes to your mind, even if you might hesitate before saying it out loud.
You could tell him "I could use a pussy massage, tonight!".
Or you could keep it real simple and text him to meet you in the bedroom.
Even shy girls can be bold over text. Use it to your advantage.
SCHEDULE SEX
Trust me the solution is just to have sex with your partner. I know, when you’re not feeling it, the last thing you want to do is have sex. But here’s the thing: Sex begets sex. The more you have, the more you want. Both men and women have testosterone in their bodies, and when you don’t have sex for a while, your testosterone levels drop. Since testosterone is a big contributor to sex drive, that means your libido drops too. Set a sex goal with your partner. Try making a commitment to have sex twice a week for a month and see how you feel. And no, it doesn't have to be penetration all the time, certain days let him just eat pussy, on other days let her do the magic using lips....if anything there is quite a lot he could do or she could do with hands and body which does not involve sticking a penis in a vagina but will surely leave both of you feeling like a sex God and sex Goddess.
Before you say it - I know, I know. I felt a cringe myself when I first heard this suggestion. I thought to myself “You can’t schedule something so delicate as sex! What if I’m not in the mood? That’s for sure going to take all the passion out of it!” But it didn’t!
And here is why:
Imagine for a second you run into a good of friend of yours. You have a lovely chat over coffee and decided that you should meet again soon. But instead of scheduling your next meet up you decided to play it by ear leaving your next meeting to chance. Thankfully, you run into each other again in a few weeks, but this time you choose not to rely on luck and schedule your next coffee for next week. Both of you make a decision on a spot to make it a priority to see each other next Wednesday. Now ask yourself, is your next coffee date going to be any less exciting because it’s scheduled? Chances are you answered ‘No.’ That’s right. A planned activity is no less exciting than a non-scheduled one if you enjoy spending time with the person.
Think back to the time when you and your partner were starting to date. Didn’t you schedule your dates? Didn’t you anticipate to end up having sex on those dates? You did, didn’t you. By scheduling sex in our busy lives, we make sure we make it a priority, just like we prioritize a birthday party. Our sex lives deserve the same recognition and respect.
The recipe for regular sex is simple: get together with you partner, decide on how many times a week and what days of the week you want to prioritize your sex for, schedule it and stick with it, no ifs and buts.
MORE FOREPLAY
Your guy may be after instant gratification, but it's also possible that he never learned that foreplay is an essential part of sex for a woman -- and enjoyable for a man. Perhaps, too, he doesn't even realize you aren't fulfilled by your sack sessions. Tell him (when you two aren't in the throes of passion) that even though he may be good to go before his pants hit the floor, you need him to take it slow. By taking the time to get you worked up -- with a tantalizing mixture of kissing, licking, teasing and touching -- not only will you get more out of the experience, but his orgasm can be intensified, too.
Hopefully, he'll heed your advice, but if he still tries to go from 0-60, remind him to slow down. Say something like "I'm not quite ready yet. I love when you touch me here. Will you do that some more?" Then take his hand and place it where you want it. If you're not comfortable being that direct, try a more playful approach and tell him that you want to play a game where his challenge is to get you as wet and aroused as possible. The rules: He has immediate access to every inch of your bod, but may use only his hands and mouth to touch you. Encourage him to linger at your favorite hot spots by being vocal when he's rubbing you the right way. When you're so aroused you can't stand it anymore, give him the go-ahead to slip inside of you. Once he sees the results of his efforts (a horny-as-hell girlfriend), he probably won't want to forgo foreplay in the future. But, if he doesn't try to change him wham-bam ways after you clue him in to your carnal needs, be patient and try again.
GIRLFRIEND DOESN'T LIKE RECEIVING ORAL
The only next thing to do, is to make sure she understands that you really enjoy giving her oral sex. Many women are unsure about whether their man likes giving oral sex more than they do PIV. Hence this could be the reason why it seems like she doesn’t like receiving oral sex, it could be that she is doing this for you by her forgoing her own pleasure.
All that attention on such a private part of our body. Does it taste good? Do we look alright down there?
Also make sure to tell her that it doesn’t matter if she gets an orgasm or not. A lot of women can feel pressure to have an orgasm when receiving oral sex and therefore they don’t enjoy themselves.
Tell her you just enjoy the feeling of giving her oral sex, and the closeness it brings to your relationship. Tell her that giving her oral sex is a way for you to enjoy her body and show her how much you like her.
Of course, I don’t know if this actually is what you’re feeling? But make sure to be this specific and positive with the feelings you do have.
Oral sex is generally an appreciated form of having sex because there is a feeling of generosity. One person gives and the other just receives. Our pleasure the sole focus of the other person. It’s a very intimate and lovely way of having sex. But it also puts a lot of pressure on the one that receives. Maybe she thinks you are bored down there, or that she is taking too long time.
Make sure she knows that there is no other motive than enjoyment.
DIRTY TALK
If you're a complete beginner, you'll want to start small and gauge how you feel and your partner reacts, especially if it's something you've never spoken about before. An easy way to do that? Simply describe what you're doing or want to do with them.
This is a failsafe phone sex technique (when describing what you're doing is key), but it can also be hot to introduce while you're already in the act IRL. If you are too nervous to start off face-to-face, test the waters with a text message.
- Prepare phrases. Once you've initiated banter, you can start to use it more regularly. Since you're new to this, plan a few phrases you can handle in advance. Write them down in the notes section of your phone so you can refer to them if you get tongue tied. Really. Do this.
Talking dirty is a learned skill. When in doubt, revert back to the above: describe what you are doing, what you want to do to your partner
- Work your way up the rauchiness totem pole. In general, I like to think of the sex words we use as falling into one of four categories: romantic terms (e.g. "making love"), clinical terms (e.g. "having sex," "having in sexual intercourse"), slang terms (e.g. "doing it"), and raunchy terms (e.g. "f-cking"). If you're new to dirty talk, you may want to start with more subdued words before progressing to the more graphic. Sometimes people think that they have to go all the way in order to succeed at dirty talk, but dirty talk is a continuum and all levels of vulgarity work.
If you're shy, start by telling your partner what you're hoping to do with her tonight using a romantic or clinical term. Once you gain confidence, up the raunchiness until you feel like you've hit your sweet spot. Most people have a raunchiness threshold when dirty talk stops feeling hot and starts feeling uncomfortable, and it takes a bit of experimentation to find out where yours and your partner's is. Which brings us here...
Role play can be a fun way not to have to take full responsibility for your choice of words because your "character" is picking them. If one of you is pretending to be the prostitute, you may feel freer to use words that you might not otherwise. After all, you had to stay in character! Role play often frees us to go outside of our comfort zone and try things we wouldn't without the crutch. If it works, you can always reprise the role at a future time. If it doesn't, you can retire it.
PAINFUL SEX
While using lube helps notice that arousal is essential for it to work perfectly. This is because you want to achieve what is called vagina tenting.
Let me explain this for you when it comes to penetrative intercourse, jumping the gun and trying to insert too early can be painful and uncomfortable for everyone involved.
The phase of sexual arousal in women called tenting not only increases lubrication production, but the cervix contract and the vaginal tube extends, both in length and width. It's this action that makes it possible to receive an object, be it a penis, or your sex toy of choice.
When having sex with a partner, it's important to wait until this phase for penetration. Lubrication isn't the only factor that goes into making intercourse easier. Not everyone reaches this stage in the same timeframe. Patience from both partners and an understanding of the various stages of arousal can make things go much easier.
This is why foreplay is so important when it comes to sex. Girls are told that the first time they have sex will hurt. But it doesn’t have to hurt!! Especially if they’re warmed up first.
So know that you are going to take longer than him to feel aroused. He should consider going down on you, fingering you, kissing and fondling your breasts, making out… anything to make you feel extra extra turned on, extra horny, will make sex SO much more pleasurable for you and it will mean you won’t experience much pain at all.
My last favorite option you could try is Orgasm: The more aroused you are the better it will feel, if you have had an amazing orgasm with lots of rubbing, sucking, and stroking on your clit and some beautiful g-spot stimulation you will find he just slips in and it feels amazing.
DELAYED EJACULATION
Masturbate using a lot of lube and a loose grip. Many men masturbate with a lot of friction, a dry hand, and a tight grip. Of course, this sets you up so that when there’s less sensation since a vagina's grip can't compare with your hand, you’re not going to be able to reach orgasm. Begin by creating less sensation during masturbation sessions.
Lastly when you are now preparing to have sex with your girlfriend Rev Your Engines! Masturbate for Better Sex Life!
On the day you’re going to have sex, do a little something I call “revving your engine.”
What you do is you masturbate, but not to the close of masturbating. Don’t get so close to the edge that you give yourself the discomfort commonly known as blue balls, but you DO want to get yourself close to the point of ejaculating, and then lay back, relax, and don’t ejaculate.
Why does this work?
There’s a little bulb at the bottom of the urethra that fills with ejaculate: the fluid that gets shot out of your body. During sexual stimulation, fluid starts to pool in this bulb. After a while, it sends a message up to your brain that says “Hey! We’re full! Time to ejaculate!” Poof! Release!
Guns locked and loaded! Fire away!
When you masturbate, you’re filling up that bulb. That way, when you go to have sex with your partner, that bulb is already at critical mass and is far more likely to reach orgasm than it would have been if you were starting totally empty.
CROSS-TRAINING
Sex doesn’t always stimulate the clitoris, especially if your clitoris is smaller or further from your vagina so you may think that you’ve been unable to orgasm.
When you’re first starting out, holding your favorite vibrator on your clitoris while he’s thrusting will amp up your pleasure. This is not cheating! In sex, all pleasure is good. The lower your performance anxiety, the easier it will be for you to transition into coming from intercourse alone, without a vibrator whenever you want to.
When first learning to come from penetration, doing orgasmic cross-training is helpful.
Cross-training is where you orgasm in a way that is easier, such as with a vibrator, while you’re doing the other way you want to climax, in this case, intercourse. This cross-training is what you do to cross the ‘gasm chasm.
FEMALE ORGASM MASTURBATION
Having an orgasm is all about being comfortable with yourself and letting go. Doing this alone first is going to be much easier than doing it with your man. So I suggest that you forget about him until you can reliably masturbate to orgasm by yourself. Once you can orgasm easily by yourself, then get your man involved.
Sex doesn’t always stimulate the clitoris, especially if your clitoris is smaller or further from your vagina so you may think that you’ve been unable to orgasm.
You can’t rush orgasms. When learning how to orgasm slowly (very slowly) build up to it. Think of it as foreplay. Start by having a long shower or bubble bath.
Learning more about your clitoris can help you orgasm more easily during masturbation and once you know how to easily orgasm during masturbation, I believe it can become easier during sex.
Concentrate on this area when you first start figuring out how to orgasm, while also paying some attention to the labia. When you are stimulating your clit, you’ll find that you can get most pleasure by rubbing it from the ‘1 o’clock position’ if you imagined it to be a clock. The ‘one o’clock’ position is the upper left area of your clitoris, so it’s easiest to stimulate with your left hand. Experiment with applying different amounts of pressure to it to see what you enjoy the most.
Then it’s just a case of continuously stimulating your clit while focusing solely on the types of rubbing, pressing and caressing that are most enjoyable.
Since you have never made yourself orgasm before, then you’ll need to do a lot of experimentation to see what feels best for you, which is always fun. Thankfully, you’ll find an encyclopedia of techniques you can use throughout [this guide](https://tichaz.com/2022/01/20/guide-for-women/)
TASTE OF PUSSY
One thing to be aware of is that the taste and smell of a woman's vagina changes throughout her cycle. In most cases it's stronger immediately before and after her period. So maybe you could avoid those times while you're acclimating to the taste.
There's a fun book called "The Man Who Ate Everything" (not a sex book) by Jeffrey Steingarten. SPOILER - acquired taste
Steingarten is a food critic, and at the beginning of his career, he fretted that he wouldn't be able to do his job because he disliked too many food -- especially many staples of French cuisine.
So he decided to make himself like them by forcing himself to eat them over and over. He found that after 20 or so exposures to a food he disliked, he suddenly started to like it.
One day, he had an epiphany at a French restaurant. He looked at the menu and couldn't order because everything on the menu looked equally delicious to him. He didn't know how to choose.
The thing with smell and taste is that you have some degree of control over how much you smell or taste the things you don't want to smell or taste. So resist the temptation to take a whiff of something that you know you wont like the smell of. You can lick the clit and avoid where the juices come out of and use your fingers there instead. You can do all of this in the bath or shower to make it more palatable. And finally you can learn to enjoy the whole package, I mean it is ultimately subjective.
GIRLFRIEND HAS NEVER ORGASM
There is no physical reason why a woman cannot have an orgasm, although some women have far greater difficulty than others in reaching a climax.
Reaching orgasm is all about letting go of control, and this concept can be a little frightening for some. Because of this, it is usually better if the woman can learn about her own body and responses without a partner to begin with, so that she can know what it is that gives her pleasure and ultimately brings her to orgasm.
For many women, this happens without even trying, as in adolescence they begin to experiment and find that a particular touch or movement will bring about very satisfying results. This is natural and good, and also takes away any element of having to get it right when they are with a partner - they already know what they like and are able to pass this on to their partner.
This has not happened with your girlfriend. If she were to go to a sex therapist, she would be encouraged to start on a programme of self-exploration, gradually adding a sexual component through fantasy or the written word when doing this. I hasten to add that all these exercises are done in the privacy of her own room! The thinking is that when she has learned on her own what contributes to her orgasm it will be much easier for her to get there with a partner. However, therapy may not be to her liking!
You are very considerate of her, and she might appreciate a [Guide for Women; How To Orgasm Every Time](https://tichaz.com/2022/01/20/guide-for-women/) which will take her through the various stages on the way to orgasm. Then you will have done all that you can and after that I would advise not bringing the subject up again for quite some time. If you keep asking about it this may bring about a certain amount of performance anxiety and she will certainly not be able to let go. 'A watched pot never boils' comes to mind!
And well done again on being so solicitous of your girlfriend's pleasure.
DRIVE MAN CRAZY
THE GOLDEN TECHNIQUE
While there is an encyclopedia of knowledge through each
section of [this guide](https://tichaz.com/2022/01/14/starfish/) on how to actively participate during sex, you may be
wondering what the best blow job technique is?
The number one blow job technique is actually an attitude.
It’s…
Enthusiasm
Enthusiasm is by far the most powerful thing you can
incorporate into your sex skills AND life. Think about it this for a
minute…
When you give your man a blow job (or hand job or have sex with him) while being completely enthusiastic about it and totally focused on him, it’s going to massively arouse and turn him on.
So even if you’re aren’t totally sure about what you’re doing, just focus on being enthusiastic. You’ll be surprised at how much this enhances the experience for your man. You don’t have to give a perfect fuck if you’re really enthusiastic and into it!
WHAT MEN WANT
As you’ll find emphasized in this guide none of these techniques for driving your man crazy in bed are that useful if you feel super awkward and nervous during the act. The same is true when it comes down to what sex positions you use.
It will be a lot more sexually satisfying for your partner if you appear and genuinely feel confident.
To start off i would say If you’re a screamer, scream. Don’t hold back your moans, groans, screams, and growls of pleasure. Men love to hear this— it’s erotic and really turns them on. Not to mention, it’s liberating for you too. Don’t hold back if you’re really feeling it in the moment; It’s just like communicating, only way sexier.
But while having it many men like to have sex with women who actively participate. Actively participating just means meeting his thrusts with your own thrusts, grinding your hips, and flexing your PC muscles (the muscles that stretch from your pubic bone to the tail bone. These are all things you can do from whatever position you’re currently in.
You can also use your hands to squeeze your man's arms and pull his body closer to yours, or use your lips to explore more of his body—all these moves will let him know you’re loving the action.
Anyway you would also appreciate this guide too has a nicely detailed road map drawn for you
SINGERPORE KISS
Try the erotic intensity of a Singapore Kiss-powered union in any style, hard or soft. Singapore Kiss is a profound contribution to the entire spectrum of lovemaking that yields a new erotic universe. Dependence on male thrusting alone to reach the heights of erotic glory is like trying to win a foot race on one leg.
For you, this can be a very rewarding experience. In Singapore Kiss the penis can be fondled, caressed, griped, massaged, milked, licked, inundated and rippled as a whole or in sections using only the vagina. But don’t think that the fun is all only his. The experience is uniquely arousing and satisfying for you, too.
Anyway the whole idea is well covered and explained in [this guide](https://tichaz.com/2022/01/14/starfish/)
LASTING LONG
CHANGE POSITIONS
Scratching an itch requires a little bit of rhythm. You’ve got to get the right speed and hit the right spot to find relief. Orgasms aren’t so different. And those who want to last longer might need to disrupt the tempo. Changing sex positions is a fine source of distraction. The more unfamiliar, the better. It’s much harder for the body to orgasm in a position that it hasn’t orgasmed in before. If you usually orgasm lying down then it might take you longer to reach orgasm standing up. This is due to proprioception, or the way your body understands its position in space and which muscles to rely on, . Switching positions or sex acts can be a great way to keep the party going while giving your body time to switch focuses.
NOW If you want to start as soon as tonight, you'll be able to go round after round and last as long as it takes [this guide](https://tichaz.com/2022/01/10/ultimate-stamina/) has a nicely detailed road map drawn for you
SLOW FUCK
Slow the fuck down.
I mean that literally.
Yes lots of advice [in this guide](https://366hacks.wordpress.com/2022/08/05/ejaculation/)
But you need to slow it all down.
This requires a mental, physiological, and strategic approach.
Masturbation is your re-training ground.
THRUSTING
There are plenty of ways to enjoy intercourse without thrusting like a jackrabbit. You can massage the tip of your penis into her clitoral hood. You can focus on the nerve endings in her vaginal entrance instead of seeing how deep you can get. You can press your penis against her G-spot. Sure, throw a little thrusting in there too, but if you feel like you’re about to reach the point of no return, there are ways to slow things down without sacrificing your partner’s pleasure, the whole premise of [this guide here](https://tichaz.com/2022/01/10/ultimate-stamina/).
Or if you look the problem from the other way, you do not have to last one hour to be a pro but rather you can last 5 minutes and if you have sex which satisfies her that is long enough. The idea is to satisfy her than lasting long even if it is [with your hands before PIV](https://tichaz.com/2022/01/10/vagina-massage/)
MASTURBATION BEFORE SEX
Sometimes ejaculating too quickly is due to the fact that you’re all riled up and haven’t ejaculated recently, which means your prostate is fully engorged. When it’s been a while since you last ejaculated, the slightest touch, lick, or thrust can set you off (literally).
If you masturbate close to when you know you’re going to have sex, you’re essentially having sex a second time, which means it will take a little longer to climax.
Caution: Practice the appropriate timing in between sessions because the last thing you want is to then not be able to perform at all.
If you notice you’re still having issues with PE even when masturbating beforehand then [this guide](https://tichaz.com/2022/01/10/ultimate-stamina/) has a nicely detailed road map drawn for you on other things you can do.
THRUSTING
In your bag of tricks to work on why not also add this concept:
Since you really screw with your brain and not your penis, the more you divert your attention from what is going on in your delivery system down below, the less likely you will ejaculate prematurely.
Thus, one way to delay orgasm is to count every thrust inward, and focus your attention on the counting and not what your penis is feeling. Try to reach 100, and then start over again.
Some men recommend stopping thrusting altogether when you sense you’re close to a climax. But I don’t advice doing this, for a simple reason. While stopping penetration can help bring down your arousal, when [your woman is clearly enjoying the intercourse](https://366moves.wordpress.com/2022/09/30/take-me/), it can really break the momentum and frustrate her instead.
What I suggest is [this simple penetration technique](https://366moves.wordpress.com/2022/09/30/perfect-pace/) that can yield tremendous staying power for you, and yet put her on a continuous sexual high at the same time.
This is what you do…
Perform eight shallow thrusts about two to three inches deep, and then one deep thrust. Follow this up with seven shallow thrusts and then two deep ones; six shallow thrusts followed by three deep ones.
You get the idea.
Continue doing this until you are performing nine deep thrusting movements. Then repeat the entire sequence again.
Why does this work so well?
First, deep thrusts are the ones that bring your penis closest to orgasm, as the frenulum (the stringy thing in the “inverted v” under the glans) and shaft skin are stretched the most, causing greater arousal. [Varying shallow and deep thrusts](https://366moves.wordpress.com/2022/09/30/thrusting/) will help taper off the stimulation on the penis glans/head. Second, the first three inches of a woman’s vagina contain [the most pleasure-seeking nerves](https://366moves.wordpress.com/2022/09/29/female-ejaculation/) and the shallow thrusts will stimulate her really well.
But if you end up trying to have sex a bunch of times, and you either can’t last long enough, or you can’t get it up, [you absolutely need to check out this guide](https://366moves.wordpress.com/2022/09/29/ultimate/). It has everything you need to gain control over your erections, and last exactly as long as you want during sex.
GUYS WHO LAST A MINUTE
There are guys who last for a minute and who satisfy their lovers with all the things they do rather than just intercourse. On the other hand, there are plenty of men who can last for ten or more minutes and aren’t satisfying lovers.
There are plenty of other sexual activities that’ll bring you both pleasure and prolong the overall length of your hookup, including erotic massage, experimenting with kinks, or focusing entirely on stimulating your partner (oral sex, anyone?).
Speaking of oral, this is a great way to increase her likelihood of reaching orgasm. Very few women have the capacity to orgasm from direct penetration; the rest need clitoral stimulation to orgasm.
I would want you to remember that there’s way more to being a good lover than how long you last. [This Guide](https://tichaz.com/2022/01/10/ultimate-stamina/) should tell you a lot about how much more there is to sex.
MASTURBATION
TRAINING GROUND
Most guys are correct: masturbation is your training ground, but chances are you have been training yourself to cum quickly.
To get yourself back on track this guide has a nicely detailed road map drawn for you but basically:
do not ejaculate before 15 minutes of hard stroking, and having to cool off, and then stroking again
longer is better! This is your training
only one ejaculation per day: wack off all day if you like, but only cum once!
Remember: only you have your hand on the controls, so it's up to you to make this go much longer.
HOW TO EDGE
Your edges belong to your Denial Goddess. Only ache. Never cum
Mmm look at you needy boy. You want permission to cum don’t you? It doesn’t feel good unless you do it for someone else.
Go ahead toy, ask me for permission. Beg me. Moan my name and beg me to let you have some sort of release. You’d do anything, wouldn’t you? You’re so needy. You’re so desperate. You’re beyond what you’ve ever felt before. I love to hear you beg 😏
But still darling, the answer is no. Absolutely not. You’re not going to cum. You’re only going to edge for me. Over and over. Acts of worship through the aching denial.
Go ahead and stroke nice and slow for me. Those long full strokes. Head to base. Pause. Now back up. Mmm feel that throb? It feels good to be an obedient needy edge slut. It feels good to do exactly as you’re told to. Grip it firmly, squeeze out that precum. Now do it again. And again. And again. Mmm good boy.
The edge feels better than an orgasm. It’s not just in the moment - it’s the excitement before an edging session. It’s the intense pleasure and pure rush of endorphins during the session. And it’s the floating feeling after - the amazing headspace that feels unreal…hazy…deliriously submissive.
So keep pumping, edge slut. Your Denial Goddess demands it
MALE STRONGER ORGASM
Delayed gratification can be hard to master, but when it comes to getting better erections, it’s well worth it. Try the practice of purposefully delaying orgasm for a more intense erections and final climax. People who pause when they were about 90 percent of the way to climax, and then resumed after slowing down a bit, their eventual erection and orgasm are way more powerful.
It’s an easy way to amp up your game: Bring yourself to the “edge” of your orgasm, slow down, pause, and then start back up again. Try to do this two or three times before letting yourself go.
In short to get yourself back on track [this guide](https://tichaz.com/2022/01/10/powerful-male/) has a nicely detailed road map drawn for you but basically:
- do not ejaculate before 15 minutes of hard stroking, and having tp cool off, and then stroking again
- longer is better! This is your training
- only one ejaculation per day: wack off all day if you like, but only cum once!
Remember: only you have your hand on the controls, so it's up to you to make this go much longer.
ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION
Yes I can see it! If you think you have a problem with erections, then in the foreplay you are worrying about whether you’re going to get an erection. You are touching your partner with your mind on your penis; thinking ‘is it hard’, ‘when will it be hard’, ‘why isn’t it hard?’
Worrying about your penis is not sexy and nobody can get aroused under pressure. ‘ED’ becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I suggest during foreplay to take your mind if not actions completely from your penis and focus on pleasing her like [eating her pussy like a savage](https://tichaz.com/2022/01/10/savage/)
Remember penetration is usually the end of sex, not the beginning, and your partner does not get aroused just from penile penetration.
LOSE ERECTION
Such men assume the fact that they’re still hard means they’re fully aroused. But that’s just wrong. I could go on about this but let me just say this generally about erections:
Yes I can see it! If you think you have a problem with erections, then [when you go for penetration](https://tichaz.com/2022/01/12/thrust/) you are worrying about whether you’re going to keep your erection. You are going for the pussy with your mind on your penis; thinking ‘is it still hard’, ‘when will it be soft’, ‘why isn’t it hard enough?’
Worrying about your penis is not sexy and nobody can get aroused under pressure. ‘ED’ becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Remember penetration is usually the end of sex, not the beginning, and you do not get aroused just from penile penetration. [let and allow your partner to play if not take complete charge of your penis](https://tichaz.com/2022/01/14/penis-massage/) and you will notice wonders
NOT ABLE TO ORGASM WITH BOYFRIEND
Many – perhaps most – women orgasm only through very direct clitoral stimulation. Stop trying to achieve orgasm through vaginal coitus alone, and educate your boyfriend about what is real and true for you. Teach him exactly how you like to be touched and try to transfer his misplaced pride in providing orgasm with his penis to the far more useful and appreciated techniques of manual or oral clitoral attention. Encourage him in his efforts, be tolerant of his early mistakes and praise him when he gets it right. [Here are plenty](https://tichaz.com/2022/01/10/vagina-massage/) of manual stimulating techniques drawn up for him.
It really is your job to share your exact needs with him (as well as listening and acting on his) rather than trying to fit into the mythology of “vaginal climaxing is best”. It is not, but you can also find ways to have him excite you more during intercourse by direct additional manual contact with your clitoris, or you could touch yourself or use sex toys.
Male desires for orgasm-to-order are often based on simple inexperience, poor technique, or embarrassment about not knowing what to do. [Teach him](https://tichaz.com/2022/01/10/female-101/), and he will be very grateful.
[This guide](https://tichaz.com/2022/01/10/savage/) has a nicely detailed road map on eating pussy like a savage drawn up for HIM
PARTNER SHY IN BED
Use the 90:10 rule. The 90:10 rule follows the principle of you making the first move, while your partner closes the gap between the two of you. Try it with all the moves you wish to make in bed. Move in for a kiss 90% of the way, and let your partner move the rest of the way in. Try it when you’re about to lick her neck and before you press into her, this helps your partner feel more comfortable about actively performing in bed, as you’re guiding her moves, but allowing her to take charge.
GIRLFRIEND CANT ORGASM
There is no physical reason why a woman cannot have an orgasm, although some women have far greater difficulty than others in reaching a climax.
Reaching orgasm is all about letting go of control, and this concept can be a little frightening. Because of this, it is usually better if the woman can learn about her own body and responses without a partner to begin with, so that she can know what it is that gives her pleasure and ultimately brings her to orgasm.
You are very considerate of her, and you might appreciate [this guide](https://tichaz.com/2022/01/10/female-101/). Then you will have done all that you can and after that I would advise not bringing the subject up again for quite some time. If you keep asking about it this may bring about a certain amount of performance anxiety and she will certainly not be able to let go. 'A watched pot never boils' comes to mind!
TRYING FOR A BABY
You are frustrated because you are clinically approaching the issue of sex as one of the tasks you should add to your schedule for the goal of conceiving.
- Your friends are partly right - "stop looking so far into it, it’ll happen when it happens".
Now I may have an out of the box approach to this and be downvoted for it but I would suggest two simple ideas for you to try this coming month:
- Maintain a sense of curiosity about sexual intimacy
Experiment with new ways to bring pleasure to each other. Look at sex as an opportunity to get to know your partner better over time.
- Vary the kind of sex you have
Have gentle, loving-tender, intimate, and highly erotic sex. Break up the routine and try new things to maximize pleasure.
If you focus on pleasure (for you) it becomes a game changer, when you reach orgasm a minute before or up to 45 minutes after your husband ejaculates in you, it results in higher levels of sperm retention than if you didn't orgasm during that time frame (or at all).
I would advice you take the pleasure route than the task one.
For the pleasure route your man will appreciate [this guide](https://366sexmoves.wordpress.com/2021/10/04/female-pleasure/) which has a nicely detailed road map drawn for him
THE GOOD GIRL SYNDROME
If you are wondering why so many women are closed off to the idea of trying new and daring sexual acts in the bedroom, your answer is finally here!
Fellas, you may be with a woman that isn't open to trying any new positions beyond doggie style and missionary, and she for damn sure would never consider having sex on anything besides a bed inside of your bedroom. This type of unwillingness to explore is all due to a mentality called "The Good Girl Syndrome."
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Growing up, every woman is taught by the elder women in her family that being a "good girl" is the best way to be. Good girls sit with their legs closed and crossed. Good girls don't hit people. Good girls don't get their clothes dirty. Good girls say Please and Thank You and are always polite and accommodating. Good girls don't use profanity. Good girls don't let manish boys touch them inappropriately.
Download All My Reads For Women books in PDF & EPUB
When sex comes into the picture, good girls don't sleep around. Good girls don't play rough in bed. Good girls don't perform oral sex and definitely don't swallow. Good girls don't have sex in open places. Good girls don't have anal sex. Good girls definitely don't have threesomes or use toys in the bedroom. Good girls do not touch themselves or masturbate. All of the for bidden sexual acts that good girls are told to stay away from are often seen as acts that only "loose women" would participate in...those that participate in these acts are often placed in the category of "whores" and looked down upon in community circles.
The "good girl syndrome" transforms good little girls into well rounded and polished women who often possess great moral values and high self esteem, which are great qualities to have, however, there is a bit of rigidity that is developed and activities such as sex often become very robotic and routine, sometimes only participated in as an act of obligation and not an act of enjoyment. These women go on to become great wives and nurturing mothers with equally positive careers, but often find themselves unsatisfied within the bedroom and also leave their male partners unsatisfied.
The "good girl syndrome" stifles a woman's desire to explore sexually, making her believe that stepping outside of the set boundaries will place her into the category of being a whore, and no woman wants to be labeled as a woman that is considered dirty or a untamed. Women stuck in this mindset constantly judge themselves during sex and become uncomfortable when the mere suggestion of anything outside of the accepted "sexual normality" is mentioned.
For Couples: Download all My Books here
So how can you help a woman break out of the "good girl syndrome?"
(1) Realize that she will have to come into the desire to explore her sexuality on her own. If you push the issue and make the exploration process seem more about you getting what you want than the both of your pursuing the journey of discovery together,then she will shut down.
(2) Make her feel comfortable with the idea of opening up by securing her trust. She wants to know that whatever you two do stays between you two and doesn't get out to your boys. She also wants to know that you aren't going to classify her as a hoe or "freaknasty" after performing something out of her normal routine. Remember, the "good girl" doesn't want to be viewed as bad.
(3) Be patient, non judgmental and encouraging. This breaking down of old ways of thinking is a process and there won't be a 180 turnaround overnight.
DEFLOWERING A MALE VIRGIN
Next time your are together scroll through some pages of [this guide](https://366sexmoves.wordpress.com/2021/10/04/male-virgin/) you came across that “just happens” to be in your news feed.
Have fun flipping through it with him. Let him have a copy in his phone before you do the deed.
The book isn’t meant to oust you as head coach; rather, it’ll just give him a little more confidence going in. The more ignorant he feels, the more his terror is going to paralyze him, and the harder it will be for him to concentrate on your lesson plan.
When it comes to the actual deflowering, it’s okay to let him lie back and enjoy the ride. He’ll have enough to think about just trying not to climax in under five seconds (or stressing out that he won’t climax at all), so it’s just plain nice to do the lion’s share of the work this time around.
That said, during any pre-deflowering hook-up sessions, and during all other seshes that follow (whether or not they culminate in intercourse), make sure he attends to your pleasure, either by giving you an orgasm or assisting you in giving yourself one. In other words, teach him that every time he gets off, so should his partner (unless she says otherwise).
Most importantly, he needs to know that the female orgasm is rarely achieved through stamina alone: It might mean [switching to oral](https://366sexmoves.wordpress.com/2021/10/04/pussy-lsavage/), or [using a hand](https://366sexmoves.wordpress.com/2021/10/04/vagina-massage/) etc.
DB
This problem is not going to get better by itself, so it must be addressed urgently and directly. You need to have a very focused conversation with your girlfriend, in which you must share your true feelings without apportioning blame. Help her to see how unhappy this situation is making you, and ask her to describe her own feelings, while listening empathically.
It is also essential to ask her to try to help you understand the reason for her disinterest in sex. There are many possible causes of low libido, some of which require treatment. For example, perhaps she is suffering from anxiety, stress, depression, vaginismus or hormonal imbalance. Perhaps she needs you to change your style of initiation or your love-making technique.
But it is important that you start this conversation by reassuring her about the positive feelings you have towards her. Once you have a greater understanding about her reasons for avoiding sex you will be in a better position to make a decision about your future. Will you be able to work it out? Will you seek treatment together? Will you walk away?Feeling so hopeless about a relationship is far from a good sign. Many people unconsciously fall into unhealthy repetitive patterns, and if you suspect this may be true for you, seek help to move beyond such a hindrance to happiness. You deserve to have the ability to develop and maintain a happy, healthy, satisfying relationship in which problems can be aired and resolved.
DB TALK
One thing you are right – without intimacy of some kind sooner or later your relationship will start having issues. This is because resentment quickly sets in. Yet I totally understand your frustration, but maybe the fact that you are aware of his limitations it could be your turn to direct your sex lives into the right direction. But to get started, these guidelines may help you:
1) Tell her you need to talk and decide on a time you can have an uninterrupted conversation (not while you’re getting ready for work in the morning).
2) Once you have her full attention, present the facts as clearly and non-judgmentally as you can (“We haven’t had sex when I am horny, despite the few times I’ve tried to initiate it,”. Some people might be very aware of their behavior, but others might not. Give her the benefit of the doubt and see how she responds before assuming she has been aware of her behavior and indifferent to the damage it has caused.
3) State the emotional impact their rejections have on you using "I statements" (“It makes me feel extremely unattractive and undesirable,” “I feel hurt and my self-esteem has taken a real hit,” or, “It makes me feel insecure, angry, and resentful.”). Here again, it is important to give your partner space to respond; while some may be aware of the impact of their behavior, others might not be.
4) State a clear request for change (“It isn’t fair to me and I don’t want to keep feeling like this,” “We’ve spoken about this before, you make some efforts but they don’t last. I need you to take this very seriously,” or, “I want us to discuss this honestly and find solutions together.”).
5) If she gets defensive or is reluctant to change, ask her to explain how she sees things, what suggestions she has for making things better, or whether there are things she is upset about that are motivating her behavior.
6) Discuss specific steps you both can take to improve the situation. Do not assume all the changes have to come from her; she might have feelings of her own that are underlying her avoidance of sex and intimacy. Try to agree on one small step you can both take right away to signal your intention to work on this issue. A good place to start could be scheduling intimate times like [erotic massages](https://366moves.wordpress.com/2022/09/30/massage/), not necessary detailed but some form of fulfilling touch.
7) Request a periodic check-in to make sure any efforts or changes are maintained (“I want us to check in on this every few weeks to make sure things have improved,” or, “I would like you to take the initiative to check in with me so I know you care about whether I’m feeling better about this.”)
Hopefully this gives you something to work on, just trying to throw in some positive vibes here!
Good luck.
DEADBEDROOM 1
When the amount of sex in a relationship causes problems,
it’s essential to open up a dialogue about it. The best place to do this is
outside the bedroom, in a comfortable setting. Have realistic expectations; in
other words, when you begin this challenging conversation, don’t imagine that
the issue will be resolved all at once. Take your time and revisit it over a
few days. It’s not always easy to talk about sex with your partner or to feel
comfortable discussing exactly what you like in the bedroom. You’ll have to
gain comfort with this over time, as you talk about what you want and what your
partner wants. Be open-minded, as well; don’t assume that you and your partner
want to do the same things in bed. Take the “menu” approach by talking more
openly about the various possibilities of sexual intimacy, and by listening
carefully.
- [Penis Massage](https://366sexmoves.wordpress.com/2021/10/06/penis-massage/); Complete Guide into Pleasuring Him with Your Hands
- [Vagina Massage](https://366sexmoves.wordpress.com/2021/10/04/vagina-massage/); Complete Guide into Pleasuring Her with Your Hands
SMALL PENIS
GUY WITH SMALL PENIS? The trick is finding the right sex positions for your bodies
Due to the setup of our genital anatomy, a penis that’s on the smaller side should be able to do the job just as sufficiently as one that could have its own postcode. It’s important to keep in mind that intercourse isn’t the most pleasurable sexual activity for a woman. We don’t have many nerve endings in our vaginas, and the ones we do have are clustered near the opening of the vagina, not the deepest part, so a man doesn’t have to be very big to create pleasurable sensations. Most women tend to enjoy a sense of fullness, which comes from girth. That seems to be more important than overall length.
The trick is [finding the right sex positions for your bodies](https://tichaz.com/2022/01/14/365/). Slippage can sometimes be an issue, so sex positions that favor tight fits are best. Doggy style can be a good option. So too can modified missionary, where your guy scoots up a couple of inches before penetrating and uses a rocking motion instead of thrusts, and girl on top.
[This Guide](https://tichaz.com/2022/01/10/female-101/) should tell a lot of guys about how much more there is to sex.
PENIS SIZE
I have read the comments below and I want to say as a woman I am disappointed, so i will mix answering your question and ranting at most of the comments below
Technique and Consideration Are What’s Important, Not Penis Size
Men’s obsession with the size of their dicks is frankly laughable. They’re bombarded with (and all too often, fall for) advertising for penis-enlarging pills or equipment just because they have been conditioned into believing women prefer larger penises. They can’t help but to measure themselves in comparison with the penises of others and since the easiest guys to compare themselves with are porn stars (who usually have very large cocks), the average guy thinks he’s too small to satisfy a woman.
This results in making the average male self-conscious about himself. Some men are so insecure that they spend thousands of dollars and hundreds of hours trying to enlarge their penises. Some even insert objects such as ball bearings under the skin of their penises to increase the girth. (I wish I were kidding. These cocks look seriously deformed, like they’ve been stricken with boils. Don’t go there!)
A man with a seven-inch (18 cm) penis may proudly compare his organ to the average man’s five to six inches (12-15 cm) but be intimidated when learning another wields an eight-inch (20 cm) rod. The man with the eight-inch penis is then demoralized when he finds that another man is walking around with a nine-inch (23 cm) tool. The man strutting around with a nine-inch “monster cock” feels puny compared to Jonah Falcon’s thirteen and a half inches (34 cm).
The sad thing is many men with monster cocks assume that their enormous size is sufficient to pleasure their partner, instead of [taking the time and effort their women really need](https://tichaz.com/2022/01/10/foreplay-done-right/). This leads to miserable (and sore) women and the lack of a lasting, loving relationship.
Why do many women who have ex-boyfriends with enormous penises eventually end up with men whose penis sizes are only four to six inches (10-15 cm) long? How can these women be satisfied with average-sized penises after experiencing monster cocks? If women prefer larger penises, why is it that nature endowed the vast majority of men with five- to seven-inch-long (13-18 cm) genitals?
A so-called small penis, four inches (10 cm) in length, is only an issue psychologically—especially to those who are younger and more inexperienced. Ask yourself: [if fingers, lips, and tongue can give earth-shaking pleasure to a woman](https://tichaz.com/2022/01/27/pancake/), how is it possible the much larger four-inch or 10 centimeter penis can’t?
And this brings us to the heart of the matter: Most guys never even think about the results of having sex with a gigantic penis, since the consequence of sex with monster cocks is never shown in porn movies. Since guys instinctively want to put their entire penises into the vagina, those with very long penises force the vagina to stretch as far as it can go. If it can’t expand any farther, pushing the penis deeper will cause damage.
Women can be in a lot of pain for days afterward, and even get infections. Some may require surgery to repair their injuries. Do you really think women look forward to repeated encounters with enormous penises multiple times a week when they’re in pain? At what point will they say no more?
So, guys, if your erect penis is at least four inches or ten centimeters long and fatter than a tampon, you have nothing to worry about. Your length should be enough to fill your partner’s entire vagina. Besides, even if your penis is not long enough, you do not need to completely fill it to give her the best orgasms of her life. While it’s preferable to fill the entire vagina, it isn’t necessary.
Due to the setup of our genital anatomy, a penis that’s on the smaller side should be able to do the job just as sufficiently as one that could have its own postcode. It’s important to keep in mind that [intercourse isn’t the most pleasurable sexual activity for a woman](https://tichaz.com/2022/01/27/horny-caterpillar/). We don’t have many nerve endings in our vaginas, and the ones we do have are clustered near the opening of the vagina, not the deepest part, so a man doesn’t have to be very big to create pleasurable sensations.
[This Guide](https://tichaz.com/2022/01/10/female-101/) should tell a lot of guys about how much more there is to sex.
MY BOYFRIEND LOSES INTEREST IN SEX AFTER HE ORGASMS
Like many people [who have sex with men](https://366moves.wordpress.com/2023/01/13/couples-guide/), you have discovered the odd little quirk in men’s physicality which can cause them to physically power-down after sex, leaving many a disgruntled partner fuming beside a man now [happily snoring in post-orgasmic bliss](https://366moves.wordpress.com/2022/09/30/goddess/).
Following orgasm, men experience a refractory period, which is the recovery phase during which it is physically impossible for a man to have additional orgasms. During this time, the penis may be sensitive and further sexual stimulation may actually be painful, which is why men shouldn’t keep trying to have penetrative sex after orgasm, as they could cause themselves injury. (Having sex post-ejaculation is also dangerous if condoms are your primary or sole form of contraception, as they could leak or break.)
It’s thus wise for a man to not have any sexual stimulation immediately after orgasm, and luckily for them, there are a multitude of chemicals helping to make it easier for him to power-down and roll away from you, [no matter how irresistible you were mere moments before](https://366moves.wordpress.com/2022/12/27/tension/).
Research shows that during ejaculation, men release a cocktail of brain chemicals, including norepinephrine, serotonin, oxytocin, vasopressin, nitric oxide, and the hormone prolactin. Prolactin represses dopamine, a key chemical in desire and motivation, and is linked both with sleepiness and feelings of sexual satisfaction. It’s thus a de-arouser of sorts, and temporarily decreases men’s desire for sex. Studies have shown that men deficient in prolactin have faster recovery times.
Interestingly, studies have also shown that orgasms enjoyed through partnered sex release four times more prolactin than [orgasms from masturbation](https://366moves.wordpress.com/2022/09/29/powerful-male/), which means that men are less likely to feel sleepy and calm after masturbating.
Now, that’s the chemical side, let’s talk about communication. Always listen to and respect your partner when he clearly tells you what his physical and emotional limits are around sex.
By ignoring him when he tells you he physically and psychologically loses his sex drive immediately after orgasm, you are not giving the required care and respect.
You have a man with natural physical limits. Respect him, and enjoy it.
VIRGIN MAN CHECKLIST
**Come armed with condoms and contraception**.
Just make sure you’re prepared so that everything doesn’t come to a crashing and inconvenient halt.
**Pro tip**: Practice putting a condom on beforehand. You don’t wanna be that person who fumbles with his junk and accidentally slingshots the condom across the room. Heck, [even try masturbating with a condom on](https://366hacks.wordpress.com/2022/08/02/male-virgin-2/) so it doesn’t feel so strange the first time you have sex with latex wrapped around your joystick.
**Please please PLEASE do not forget about foreplay.**
This is going to be true for the rest of your damn life. So listen up. Foreplay is so important when it comes to sex.
So know that she’s going to take longer than you to feel aroused. Consider [going down on her](https://366hacks.wordpress.com/2022/08/03/cunnilingus/), fingering her, kissing her and fondling her breasts, rubbing your hands all over her, kissing her neck, making out… [anything to make her feel extra extra turned on](https://366hacks.wordpress.com/2022/08/09/foreplay/), extra horny, will make sex SO much more pleasurable for both of you
Women can’t usually just jump straight into the act without a little warming up first and, as a rule of thumb, foreplay should actually take up more time than the act itself.
Use your fingers to locate the vaginal opening. Guide the penis inside the vagina
Look — finding the vaginal opening for the first time can have you feeling a bit like Lewis and Clark. It can be really tricky at first, even for vagina-owners. I know I had a really hard time at first trying to insert a tampon, for example, because for all I knew, my vaginal opening could have been in Narnia.
**Performance issues**
Don’t be surprised if you have them. Whether due to overexcitement or nervousness, issues such as impotence and premature ejaculation are normal the first time. But don’t worry, these issues will normally resolve themselves after a few more experiences.
You might last all of two seconds.
Or, you might not be able to get it up at ALL.
Sometimes, your penis is like the singing dancing frog and doesn’t do what you want it to do.
This is perfectly normal, it’s very common, your dick isn’t broken. This happens to a lot of men when they’re nervous. Just pack things up and try again later.
But if you end up trying to have sex a bunch of times, and you either can’t last long enough, or you can’t get it up, you absolutely need to [check out this guide](https://366hacks.wordpress.com/2022/08/05/ejaculation/). This is everything you need to gain control over your erections, and last exactly as long as you want during sex.
**Signs.**
The best way to tell how well things are going is to check her response. If she’s just lying there staring at the ceiling, then it’s [time to try something else](https://366hacks.wordpress.com/2022/08/18/thrust/). If she’s panting and groaning with pleasure, however, you’re onto a winner.
**Just ask.**
Seriously, if you’re not sure what to do, or if you’re not sure if what you’re doing is right or not, then just ask. Women are really responsive to that kind of thing and [will be happy to guide you around their bodies](https://366hacks.wordpress.com/2022/08/02/male-virgin-2/).
BONUS #1 — keep it simple. Don’t try to emulate what you see in porn.
Do not try to be a fancy figure skater and wow your partner with your sweet moves. This is not parkour. And this is not the time for [saucy horizontal dance moves](https://366hacks.wordpress.com/2022/09/29/365/) or tricky sex positions.
Right now, the missionary position is perfect.
Your partner will appreciate that you’re not trying to reinvent the wheel.
But depending on your body type, shape feel free to [try a couple of different sexual positions](https://366hacks.wordpress.com/2022/09/10/guide/) to see which suit you best, but by all means, don’t overdo it or stress about it. If you’re enjoying it, then just go with the flow and let your bodies take care of themselves.
PE HOW TO HAVE SEX
Before seeking external help... answer a few questions.
When you go PiV, do you immediately go 1000MPH or KPH?
Before you go PiV, how many minutes did you spend on..
- Taking her clothes off?
- Kissing her???
- Gently touching her boobs?
Slowly going from kissing her mouth, to kissing her boobs, to kissing her belly... to arriving at promised land with your tongue?
Gone past the promised land, and continued kissing down her legs?
Captain, we MUST reverse course! Now you work your way back up all the way to kissing her beautiful face.
It is perfectly fine to get distracted while on course and spend a few extra cunnilingus minutes on promised land.
You have just arrived back at her beautiful lips... YOU IDIOT, you forgot her nipples. GO BACK.
You are now BOTH ripe for nuclear war! STOP. DO NOT HIT THE RED BUTTON!
There's more to be done young soldier.
You want to last long??? Here's the hardest part:
- Put your self into position. SOLDIER!
- DO NOT PUT dick in immediately. Ring the door bell first. Hit her clit with your dick head
- Rub your glans up and down her labia and clit.
- Maybe rub it on her thighs too.
- Put just the glans in. TAKE IT OUT NOW...
- Rub it up and down again.
- Now put glans and 5% of shaft in... take it all out.
- 15% in... OUT!
- 45% in... GET THE FUCK OUT!
- Now, increase the speed of ins and outs... we talking 45% speed... NOT FULL PAWWWAAAAH.
- Keep going until you have put in 100% of shaft in... ( ACHIEVMENT UNLOCKED! )
- Speed control my friend... this will be key to longevity. Go fucking slow ( PUN DEF INTENDED HERE ).
The above probably took... what... maybe 5 minutes... 10 if you are [following proper MILITARY PROTOCAL??? who cares?
Now that you go back in 100%...
- Slow thrusts. 15% speed.
- after about 1 min or so... increase speed... This is when you open your ears to her moans. Increase speed based solely on her moans.
- Once you reach 50% speed... SHUT IT DOWN. go all the way back to beginning. Tease her pussy again.
- Back to 50% speed. NOW WE REACH THE MOON!
- Keep increasing speed to 60%... wait... wait... wait... now 70%... until...
FULLLL PAAAAWWWWWAAAAAHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhh.
Once ARMAGEDON is reached! ( ACHIEVEMNT UNLOCKED)... you must NOT disengage the enemy. Slowly come out... kiss, cuddle... hug... what ever... but do it slowly.
Once completely out... ( do your own research on 'after care' ) make peace with your enemy by laying next to them, hugging them, kissing them, caressing the shit out of them... maybe talking...
Once the FULL mission is accomplished ( ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED )
Some of these guides below might do you some good too
a) [Ultimate Sexual Stamina Program | The Blueprint to Mastering Male Ejaculation Control](https://tpi02.wordpress.com/2022/09/29/ultimate/)
b) [Female Orgasm 101; Preparation, Building & Delivering it](https://tpi02.wordpress.com/2022/09/29/female-101/)
c) [Foreplay Done Right; Getting Her Horny & Bothered](https://tpi02.wordpress.com/2022/09/29/foreplay/)
d) [Alpha Male Style; Assertively Sexually Satisfying Her in Bed](https://tpi02.wordpress.com/2022/09/30/alpha-male/)
Enjoy!
GROSS MASTURBATION FEMALE
Why do you feel gross about masturbating.
I think its good to consider why you gross it. That's because whether we masturbate or not, I don't think it serves any of us well to feel like there's something wrong with doing things for ourselves that are about self-care or pleasure that don't do anyone any harm, including ourselves. And masturbation, so long as we're not masturbating in ways which can cause us illness or injury -- like not washing our hands first or afterward, or using things to masturbate with that are sharp or unsanitary -- is certainly one of those things.
I think it can help to think about the host of other things you and other people probably do that are about pleasure, self-care or both. Like enjoying a beautiful sunset or sunrise, or taking a walk or a swim on a gorgeous day. Like appreciating how it feels to rub sore muscles, take a long bath or shower; like getting a haircut that's about more than just getting the hair out of your eyes. Like wearing clothes that feel good on your skin, or that make you feel good about yourself. Like how it feels to eat not just what we need to to stay healthy and keep living, but what tastes good to us and pleases our other senses, or listening to music you enjoy. Like having scents around you that smell good to you or arranging your room in a way that makes you feel at home; spending a fun day with your friends or a day that's only for and by yourself to recharge. Like getting organized or taking a break from organizing, whichever feels more like what you need to feel good and to tend to your own needs.
All of those things are about self-care, pleasure or both, and chances are that most of them make very few people feel ashamed or disgusting. [Masturbation is about self-care and pleasure, too.](https://tpi02.wordpress.com/2022/09/30/women-guide/)
The only difference between those things and masturbation is that those things tend to be considered socially acceptable by most, if not all people, while some people don't think masturbation (or other kinds of sex) is. There's really nothing to back those attitudes up when people have them, save fear, self-loathing, or shame about bodies and sexualities.
This is frustrating. Not your situation, mine. Because now I have to write the phrase that will destroy the thesis of many people online who desperately want to believe that I am - to use their whimsical turn of phrase - “an irrational man-hating feminazi.” And I truly hate to disappoint. But I must. So here we go:
This isn’t men’s fault.
Like many people who have sex with men, you have discovered the odd little quirk in men’s physicality which can cause them to physically power-down after sex, leaving many a disgruntled partner fuming beside a man now happily snoring in post-orgasmic bliss - or as in your case, a man now happily awake but sexually disinterested in you.
Following orgasm, men experience a refractory period, which is the recovery phase during which it is physically impossible for a man to have additional orgasms. During this time, the penis may be sensitive and further sexual stimulation may actually be painful, which is why men shouldn’t keep trying to have penetrative sex after orgasm, as they could cause themselves injury. (Having sex post-ejaculation is also dangerous if condoms are your primary or sole form of contraception, as they could leak or break.)
It’s thus wise for a man to not have any sexual stimulation immediately after orgasm, and luckily for them, there are a multitude of chemicals helping to make it easier for him to power-down and roll away from you, no matter how irresistible you were mere moments before.
Research shows that during ejaculation, men release a cocktail of brain chemicals, including norepinephrine, serotonin, oxytocin, vasopressin, nitric oxide, and the hormone prolactin. Prolactin represses dopamine, a key chemical in desire and motivation, and is linked both with sleepiness and feelings of sexual satisfaction. It’s thus a de-arouser of sorts, and temporarily decreases men’s desire for sex. Studies have shown that men deficient in prolactin have faster recovery times.
Interestingly, studies have also shown that orgasms enjoyed through partnered sex release four times more prolactin than orgasms from masturbation, which means that men are less likely to feel sleepy and calm after masturbating.
My advice? let him worship your body and make him earn the reward of ejaculation with you
Following orgasm, men experience a refractory period, which is the recovery phase during which it is physically impossible for a man to have additional orgasms. During this time, the penis may be sensitive and further sexual stimulation may actually be painful, which is why men shouldn’t keep trying to have penetrative sex after orgasm, as they could cause themselves injury. (Having sex post-ejaculation is also dangerous if condoms are your primary or sole form of contraception, as they could leak or break.)
It’s thus wise for a man to not have any sexual stimulation immediately after orgasm, and luckily for them, there are a multitude of chemicals helping to make it easier for him to power-down and roll away from you, no matter how irresistible you were mere moments before.
Masturbation is your training ground, but chances are you have been training yourself to cum quickly.
To get yourself back on track this guide has a nicely detailed road map drawn for you but basically:
- do not ejaculate before 15 minutes of hard stroking, and having to cool off, and then stroking again
- longer is better! This is your training
- only one ejaculation per day: wack off all day if you like, but only cum once!
Remember: only you have your hand on the controls, so it's up to you to make this go much longer.
Finally when it comes to sex remember there are plenty of ways to enjoy intercourse without thrusting like a jackrabbit. You can massage the tip of your penis into her clitoral hood. You can focus on the nerve endings in her vaginal entrance instead of seeing how deep you can get. You can press your penis against her G-spot. Sure, throw a little thrusting in there too, but if you feel like you’re about to reach the point of no return, there are ways to slow things down without sacrificing your partner’s pleasure, the whole premise of this guide here
https://www.quora.com/Why-is-it-so-hard-to-find-the-G-spot
The G Spot is easier to find when she is aroused. Just like your penis only gets hard when you’re aroused, her G Spot will remain hidden until she is aroused and horny.
Here is Foreplay Done Right; Getting Her Horny & Bothered
you will insert one lubed finger inside her vagina, and slide the pad of your finger (where your fingerprint is) along the upper wall. Her G Spot will be between 2-3 inches deep inside .
You’ll know that you have found her G Spot because it will feel similar to a wet raspberry or bunch of grapes to the touch: soft; it’s slightly ribbed/textured with ‘gutters’ on either side.
https://www.quora.com/Why-cant-I-find-my-girlfriend%E2%80%99s-g-spot
The G Spot is easier to find when she is aroused. Just like your penis only gets hard when you’re aroused, her G Spot will remain hidden until she is aroused and horny.
Here is Foreplay Done Right; Getting Her Horny & Bothered
you will insert one lubed finger inside her vagina, and slide the pad of your finger (where your fingerprint is) along the upper wall. Her G Spot will be between 2-3 inches deep inside .
You’ll know that you have found her G Spot because it will feel similar to a wet raspberry or bunch of grapes to the touch: soft; it’s slightly ribbed/textured with ‘gutters’ on either side.
https://www.quora.com/What-does-it-say-if-a-guy-comes-quickly-during-foreplay
Sometimes ejaculating too quickly is due to the fact that you’re all riled up and haven’t ejaculated recently, which means your prostate is fully engorged. When it’s been a while since you last ejaculated, the slightest touch, lick, or thrust can set you off (literally).
If you masturbate close to when you know you’re going to have sex, you’re essentially having sex a second time, which means it will take a little longer to climax.
Caution: Practice the appropriate timing in between sessions because the last thing you want is to then not be able to perform at all.
Also when it comes to sex remember there are plenty of ways to enjoy intercourse without thrusting like a jackrabbit. You can massage the tip of your penis into her clitoral hood. You can focus on the nerve endings in her vaginal entrance instead of seeing how deep you can get. You can press your penis against her G-spot. Sure, throw a little thrusting in there too, but if you feel like you’re about to reach the point of no return, there are ways to slow things down without sacrificing your partner’s pleasure, the whole premise of this guide here